| | 15839 | | I was molested at 8yrs old by my 2 brothers and my moms boyfriend at the time. I never told anyone. I know now that it has effected my relationships with men. | | | | | 15838 | | So he knows how i feel but it doesn't matter.
this hope i have of us ending up together impedes my relationships with others. i dread the say that i will come to him and say "i met someone." part of me thinks he'll be sad and disappointed and think that i never meant it when i said he was the one...but part of me thinks he's had almost 20 years to do something about it so it should come as no surprise that i might find someone else.
it's difficult for me to accept the fact that he doesn't want me and that's why he hasn't chosen to be with me even though i've said i wanted to be with him. it's difficult for me to accept the fact that he loves me...just not that way.
i wonder if i could ever be with anyone else. i can. i have been. but not completely. not wholeheartedly. and i wonder if it will always be this way. if i will stay alone because he doesn't want to be with me.
half the time it makes me sad, the other half it makes me feel like i should just say something. i see the texts we send, i am so careful in choosing my words...so careful in everything i say..."speak! just say something!" i think that all the time. but i can't. i just cannot.
and while all the things i need to say remain unspoken, years go by and i cannot find comfort in anyone else, because my heart belongs to you. | | | | | 15837 | | I'm seriously tired of this shit. I should break it off...why am I sacrificing my life/happiness so you'll be happy? Maybe after the summer....another shitty one. | | | | | 15836 | | Fuck this shit | | | | | 15835 | | My friend today wore really short shorts to school, and it was nasty. Her thighs jiggled when she walked, and her cellulite clumps or whatever were visible. I didn’t have the heart to tell her. | | | | | 15834 | | I hate my job, but I'm too much of a coward to quit. I feel like I need to come in, even though I'm not making any money and I could save more money staying at home and looking for jobs. I just want to move to where we've been planning to move for nearly a year now and start fresh. | | | | | 15833 | | I love Janet.
She doesn’t know. | | | | | 15831 | | recently i decided that sexual activity is more important than sleep. | | | | | 15830 | | Sometimes I think that I’m not doing the right thing with my life; I wanted to be a Veterinarian when I was 6, and now I’m 20 and in college and wondering seriously if I’ll enjoy it. I don’t know. | | | | | 15829 | | I tried to tell my friends as I was growing up that my mother was abusing me, but everyone thought I was lying because she was "so nice" to them in public. I was really proud of myself for surviving it all and getting away from her and moving on to find my true love, but in reality the past is catching up with me.
All of my friends are more like acquaintances who think I'm so perfect, but they not only don't even know me but get mad when I tell them so. I desperately want a friend to speak to, but even beyond the abuse, my life is just . . . really weird and no one gets it (or probably wouldn't believe it). It makes me want to curl up and die, but I keep going on anyway. But, I'm not even sure what for because even if people are proud of my regular accomplishments, it means nothing to me without deep, meaningful relationships.
All my friends want to do is get together, eat things and watch TV, but I want to share something really special where there aren't much for secrets and being vulnerable is more acceptable. I have trouble with social norms, since I wasn't taught any growing up . . . Is there anywhere in the world where you can be close without meeting some special social standard?
I'm tired of other people telling me who I am. I wish someone would actually take an interest in getting to know me . . . and then not leave. It sounds so simple, and yet it's been my entire life (28 years) that I've sought that kind of friendship. Is something like this so far out there? It feels impossible. | | |
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| | \di·vulge\, v. i. 1. To make known (something private or secret) 2. Archaic. To proclaim publicly
the idea is for anyone to anonymously confess to anything. it actually feels kind of good to know that someone will read it.
this is completely confidential. no information about you or your computer is stored. in fact, we only collect the text you type, the date, and a random number.
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